My Favortie Porn Sites

Yes, I watch porn. Judge me.

www.keezmovies.com

www.xhamster.com

www.tube8.com

www.pornhub.com

www.xnxx.com

www.spankwire.com

www.freeviewmovies.com

a cry. as in a cry out.

i posted this before but oh well, i like it.

please just know and understand
that when you need it to hold, you have my hand

you can come and tell me your fears
you can let me see your tears

and not once
not ONCE
will i dare turn my back!!
because when YOUR hurt it's happiness i lack

let me be the one you go to when shit gets hard
when your feelings are scarred
PLEASE LET DOWN YOUR GUARD!

i cant help what i cant get to
and i cant help if you keep a brick wall up against you

i know its not easy, i know that firsthand
but please, just know and understand
that i cant break down that wall you've built
at least not alone, i need your help

you've caged yourself from what i can offer
isolated your heart because you prefer
to play it safe than take a risk
for something that can turn out to be fantastic

yes! fantastic and special and real
something that you have to WANT to feel

something true and worth fighting for
someone to cherish and adore
to have, to hold and all that bullshit
something genuine, not counterfeit

I WANT TO BE that 'something' you have
I WANT TO BE the one who lasts

you want to protect yourself and that's fine
but the more you shelter YOUR heart, the more you hurt MINE

im not asking you to risk it all
but im begging you, tear down that damned wall

if not to the world, then at least to me
let ME in, let ME see
i need to know and understand
that you ARE trying as best you can

i want to feel you inside and out
i want to be assured that without a doubt
that your love for me is actual
that the feelings i have are mutual

if you dont want me near, please tell me know and now
dont be the one to kick me when im down

whenever you need me ill be here
everyday, every year
every waking moment
my love for you will NEVER be absent

when your spirit is broken
i'll be softspoken

NO MATTER WHAT i'll be here
as your lady, as your peer

i'll be the light that brightens your day
i'll be the compass that guides your way

i'll be whatever i have in my power to be for you
but first, Christopher, you have to let me through

let me in, hold me tight
say we're going to be alright
trust me
lust for me

let me in through the pride,
let me in through the feelings you hide
and, PLEASE, hold me
and when i need it, console me

let me in past your concerns
let me know that it's me you yearn
love me
make love to me

hurt me gently
whisper that you'll be here indefinitely


grab me, grip me, pull me close,
then wait long seconds before letting me go

press your body up against mine
make our hands intertwine
and when i show resistance, simply decline
because for every one "no" i really mean "yes" a billion times


i'll always be here for you to use me
but since i'm giving you my all, don't abuse me

i want to believe that you won't harm me
but the fact that you cant say how you feel alarms me


there you go. :(ish

lucky number slevin

"The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle." -The Rabbi

Just like a pill

use me. dont abuse me

please just know and understand
that when you need it to hold, you have my hand

you can come and tell me your fears
you can let me see your tears

and not once
not ONCE
will i dare turn my back!!
because when YOUR hurt it's happiness i lack

let me be the one you go to when shit gets hard
when your feelings are scarred
PLEASE LET DOWN YOUR GUARD!

i cant help what i cant get to
and i cant help if you keep a brick wall up against you

i know its not easy, i know that firsthand
but please, just know and understand
that i cant break down that wall you've built
at least not alone, i need your help

you've caged yourself from what i can offer
isolated your heart because you prefer
to play it safe than take a risk
for something that can turn out to be fantastic

yes! fantastic and special and real
something that you have to WANT to feel

something true and worth fighting for
someone to cherish and adore
to have, to hold and all that bullshit
something genuine, not counterfeit

I WANT TO BE that 'something' you have
I WANT TO BE the one who lasts

you want to protect yourself and that's fine
but the more you shelter YOUR heart, the more you hurt MINE

im not asking you to risk it all
but im begging you, tear down that damned wall

if not to the world, then at least to me
let ME in, let ME see
i need to know and understand
that you ARE trying as best you can

i want to feel you inside and out
i want to be assured that without a doubt
that your love for me is actual
that the feelings i have are mutual

if you dont want me near, please tell me know and now
dont be the one to kick me when im down

whenever you need me ill be here
everyday, every year
every waking moment
my love for you will NEVER be absent

when your spirit is broken
i'll be softspoken

NO MATTER WHAT i'll be here
as your lady, as your peer

i'll be the light that brightens your day
i'll be the compass that guides your way

i'll be whatever i have in my power to be for you
but first, Christopher, you have to let me through

let me in, hold me tight
say we're going to be alright
trust me
lust for me

let me in through the pride,
let me in through the feelings you hide
and, PLEASE, hold me
and when i need it, console me

let me in past your concerns
let me know that it's me you yearn
love me
make love to me

hurt me gently
whisper that you'll be here indefinitely


grab me, grip me, pull me close,
then wait long seconds before letting me go

press your body up against mine
make our hands intertwine
and when i show resistance, simply decline
because for every one "no" i really mean "yes" a billion times


i'll always be here for you to use me
but since i'm giving you my all, don't abuse me

i want to believe that you won't harm me
but the fact that you cant say how you feel alarms me


there you go. :(ish

you're alot smarter than you look

"I love you more than anything and anybody."

I wish you could see my smile on the other side of
the phone when you tell me this. You can't see it ,
but it's there.

& Thank you very much

Je amour vous mais je crains votre amour.

Je veux ton amour, et je veux ton revenge.

After long intrevals of philophobia
I've overcame it and became
familiar with eremophobia.
If you are philophobic, STAY THAT WAY.
Eremophobia is alot worst.

:(

My insanity is not an illness,
but a choice. Sanity dulls the mind,
keeps you trapped, lays out
boundaries. I like excitement.
Im not a happy girl but I most
definitely do not suffer from depression.
I have a hard exterior because
fuckheads like you dont deserve to see
the real me and the ones who do
have the ability to hurt me so they
dont see it either.
I curse but I have wonderfully wide
vocabulary and could talk shit
without profanity.
So why curse?
I lie but could honestly give a fuck less
if you knew the truth.
So why lie?
Im so full of shit if my outside
matched my inside I'd resemble a bull.
I think he's happy.
Im not. But I get somewhat satisfied
knowing that he is.
I dont know why.
I dont have half the normal feelings
and transactions that other humans have.
I dont know why.
I like it. It gives me emotional freedom
to hurt people and feel no remorse,
to break hearts and not think twice.
Yet at the same time, it handicaps me.
I dont get to experience the delights
that others do. Im not happy.
I dont know what its like to give someone
your all. But at the same time I dont know what its
like to be completely broken at anothers will.
Sometime....sometimes I wonder...
If the high people get off love,
is worth the downfall.
Maybe one day I'll find out.
But as of now I dont have a clue.
Im NOT happy.

DITM

UGH.
in shcool right now.
first period, blah....
chris isnt here.
david isnt here.
ramsey's here,
fuck ramsey. stupid bitch.
mr. matthews so fuckin weak.
charging students up about gum and shit.
callin parents over gum.
lil loud as girl in the hallway
being ignorant. i dont know her name
starts with an "a" i think.
i want to box someone, idk why.
just feel like overpowering somebody.
ugh. i feel like shit. im sick
but if i dont go to school then i cant go to tennis
and i want to so....ugh
ugh
ugh
im about to just start cursing ppl out
someone will eventually retalite.
im not in a pleasant mood.
evey little thing pisses me off.
loud bitches, weak niggas, forcin teachers
all that shit.
im about to call marty so i can go home....

now i really dont want to go back to houston.
cuz things are just getting worse and worse.

Jacob

Lol.
Im not just posting this cuz
you asked me too, I was going to anyways
so you could read it.

Thank you alot. You were there
for me when no one else was and that
means alot to me.
It was tough but you made it better.
You're a good guy, not some hoe ass nigga.
Even though I havent fucked with you
in a minute you still came through.
Again, thnx.

Baby, it's fact. Our love is true

Hellogoodbye!!

7things-- i didnt write this

7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined everything's alright
I want to beWith the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you

^^the picture (again)^^

since chris is convinced
that every move i make
revolves aournd him,
i have changed the picture
back to my big tit idol
and all her glory.

^^the picture^^

thats detroit.

my diary w/ the monkey on it (page 37)

page 37.

everday for the past 2 weeks
i've written a poem.
some short, some long like essays.
some clever, some wack.
some days, i write 3 poems.
other days just a few lines.
but it helps.
im no poet but, it keeps me from
doing stupid shit.
none of them have titles.
i dont want to label them becuz
most of then come from
a mixture of emotions,
not just one feeling.
its hard to define them.
im not so sure how i feel now.
a little upset and mad.
a little hurt to, but happy also
becuz i have the opporotunity
to just walk away from all this.
just start over and say fuck it.
and chris...he pisses me off so much.
with the way he acts.
i can read him like a fuckin book.
i know he cares, i know this.
but i have my doubts sometimes
even though i shouldn't, its dumb.
he has this way of acting like he doesnt care
and says it. and i know its a lie.
but then i think
"if he's saying he doesnt care when he
really does, then whats he gonna say when
he really doesnt care? how the hell am i
suppose to the difference?"
i use to be able to tell, cuz when he said
he didnt care he still acted like he did.
things are different now.
but i need to stop being so scary
its not helping. been doing the tought girl thing for a while.
why crumble now?
this really isnt the time for meltdowns.
so i just have to put my guard back up.
its safer that way

wishy washy

i keep going back & forth
one second ill feel fine and the next
ill feel like shit.
sometimes its like,
"Sam", yeah i talk to myself, "Sam,
just fuckin chill. damn bitch."
and other times its like
"Sam, how could you sit back
and let shit unfold."
then its like
"I mean, you deserve this. You
did this to yourself."
then it's like
"So! Fuck that.
I wish I were a boy sometimes.
I swear they have it better."
then i start thinking,
just act like them niggas.
you know how, they wont care
and soon neither will you.
But truth be told,
I could never act like a boy
(as far as relationships go.)
I dont have the heart.
It's not in my mentality to do so.
Even if it makes me feel better for a couple
of days or even weeks.
Im going to feel guilty later,
like i do now.
Karma's a bitch, but I'm just gonna ride it out.
I mean, I dont have a fuckin choice.
And I can't sleep.
Well, I could but I'm scared to.
I'm losing my best fucking friend.
She's moving soon.
And I'm drifting away from Chris.
But that's no big deal.
Cuz I'll see him everyday. Twice.
Hopefully that'll help things.
But now that I'm in Detroit,
it's growing on to me. And my grandmother wants
me to stay.
I MIGHT.
With Alexa gone and Chris half-way gone
I really dont have much to lose.
I might be helping myself by staying.
And Marty doesnt care.
Which is a plus.
So I might be setting up camp for Detroit,
more than likely.
It's kind of a scapegoat, but I'm a big baby on the inside
so whatever.
Only time will tell.
Until further notice, I'm just living.

im scared

im not being a baby,
im just being cautious, cuz im scared.
i dont like the feeling of not knowing
whats gonna happen next. i dont like the
incertainty. i but i cant rush things.
i have to let things flow and fall into place.
shit will happen when it happens.
but the longer we're not together the more
i think we're not gonna be together again.
everyday you're not with me you're with
someone else.
everday you're not mine, someone is liable
to take you.
everyday you love me less and less
while the time apart is making me love you more and more.
im scared that we're not on the same page.
im scared that im not the girl you think
about before you go to bed and when you wake up.
im scared that u dont love me like you use to
and that its all my fault.
im scared that i've done irreversible damage
and now we're through. i know im thinkin far into this
but this is the shit that goes through my mind.
the thoughts that frighten me in the middle of the day.
i know you say that i have nothing to worry about
but ive heard that song and dance before
and i just dont want to relive heartache again.
i keep backtracking the things i did and think
of i what i could've done to make things better.
like maybe i should've said i loved you more often
or told you how i felt EVERYDAY
or something!
anything.
im just fucking scared that all the dreams
i had of us wont come true.
i just fucking scared.

Alexa has a lil dick. lol

i fuckin love alexa joi mayes.
she's like my best friend.
no no no.
like REALLY my best friend.
we take care of each other.
when she needs something, im there
and vice versa.
i would fight for her, and do like
serious damage.
shes like my fuckin sister.
we dont call each other oour "aces, or ride or die"
cuz we're not that fuckin lame
and dont need to.
we act just alike and finish each others
sentences like sick ass twins.
whenever i think i've done something
remotely insane i just call her and she understands
cuz our brains are identical.
the only girl ill ever steal a ladder for,
she gets on my nerves too, but i like her.
and chances are, i dont like you so...
yeah whatever
alexa the best
alexa the smartest
alexa the bummiest
i love alexa
SO HOMO!! jk

StevenB.

this boy here is like a brother.
i love him. i with my heart and shit.
i see him all the time, he's always at my
house and is annoying sometimes but he's
like cool and stuff.
but he knows he's cool, which why sometimes
he's not cool. you know?
we have ALOT of inside jokes that only him,
me, and alexa know about. lol lol
just thinkin about them make me laugh
hahahahaha

weak ass travis fights

travis, the school i attend, is fuckin weak
and is filled with students
who talk.
talk shit.
alot, but never back it up.
like this one girl.
who thought she could drop me,
or thought i wasnt gonna drop her.
either way, she's fuckin dumb.
after charging her up, cussing her out,
throwing her pizza, and getting in her face,
she finall decides to touch my wrist.
giving me a reason to hit her.
and while she makes a scene,
i stick her dumbass about 3 good times
and now her face looks stupid.
then the A.P.'s tackle us, but she's
telling trying to kick me.
dumb girl.



and now, this white boy,
insist on charging up chris.
stupid fella.
ummmmm, i wouldnt charge up chris.
even if i was a nigga.
its just not wise.
but he does anyways.
(fucking potheads dont think straight.)
he actually meets chris in the bathroom.
dumbass boy.
so chris fucks him up in the face and shit.
and the boy snitches
*cough* weak *cough*
now me and chris are both suspended,
and neither one of us
can return until wednesday.
weak.
fuck travis.

here goes

i've never felt so much hatred for one person.
u truly disgust me. i told myself that i wasnt gonna
blog about you or waste pages in my diary on you,
but i have alot bottled in and i deserve to let it out.
im not bitchin every minute about what u did to me,
but i will address it, cuz it was terrible.

how could you slap a girl across the face,
spit on her like she's a disgrace,
slam her on a hardwood floor
and take what u say is "rightfully yours"?
how could you hear her scream for you to stop
and ignore her as you rip off her top?
i pleaded and begged while you made me bleed
hoping you'll stop, but you still proceed
the main ingredient in my nightmares
is someone who i thought once cared
and without a trace of guilt in your eyes
as you stared at me and heard my cries
i hate you and hope you burn in hell
just like that, and i wont shout or yell
cuz ur simply not worth the thought
we've argued, parted, and even fought
but instead of just leaving me alone
you take the liberty of coming to my home.
i hope you spend the next two years
thinking of how you caused me all those tears.
and......
fuck u!

hoed myself

i went to alexa's and made 2 video
well, made 3.
but one was really pointless. actually all
3 were really pointless.
but they make me laugh, becuz when i watch them
i just listen to how annoying i sound and giggle.


oh yeah, my weak ass sister is in them too.



and the other one

i think im ready

my new favorite song
by katy perry!!
titled: i think im ready.
she has a way of putting
exactly how i feel in a song
at the exact time in my life
when i feel that way.

"Told myself I don't deserve you
And this is just a phase
Could I get used to, being loved the right way?
I wanna argue, but there is nothing to say"

"Cuz you wanna see me, when there's no occasion
Yeah we talk for hours, you still wanna listen
Won't hold it against me if I just need you to hold me tonight"

i love her. i have too.
its like she takes my diary entries
and magically turns them into songs.
fuckin genius man.

katy perry's thinking of you

she did good.
real good.
better than katy. but her nose is ugly :P

secret #8

im scared of the light

secret #4

if you tell me you love me
and i say "huh?"
its not cuz i didnt hear you the first time,
i just wanna hear you say it again.

secert #13

everytime i say "no",
i really mean "try harder".

in my diary

i have a list
in the back.
a list of secrets.
nothing big, or special.
but secrets nonetheless.
things i would prefer not to tell you
but i was reading this book that
you wouldnt understand cuz your prolly
not smart enough and it said it was good
to tell SOME of your secrets so....
here goes.

one lame family

you can hear my pharson
bitch ass in back.

die or die

and because of you now i'm scared even more
cuz there is a river where there was once my bedroom floor
a long wide river of my tears
created by my cries, silent to your ears
im fully aware that i cant swim
yet, my heart tells me to jump right in
i know for sure i'll drown and die
but i'll drown before i live everyday just getting by
with a heart thats torn in two
broken by none other than you
but if i dont, i'll live forever in pain
every awaking moment will be the same
thoughts of you while i lay and weep
nightmares of you in my sleep
but if i jump in my river, crafted by tears
the vicious cycle will end here
no more sadness or memories
of how it was, when you were with me
so i either live in mourning, wanting you back
or drown to end the happiness i lack
really i just want to be with you
but jump or not, i still lose.

Timeline

I tried to write a song
but it wasnt as good as yours :(
so I mad a timeline :)

June 4th
we kissed in Donalds car

June 22nd
I told you I was in love with you

July 4th 3:22 am.
you asked me out three times lol

August 4th
one month

August 6th
i put all my trust in you

August 11th
baskseat of stephanies car???

July 4th- Now
lots of smiles, tears, dissapointments, excitements,
laughs, break-ups, and make-ups

Everyday
I love you more.

humphh

the picture?
yeah well, when i was
younger i wanted to be just like her.
she's sexy, strong, and green looks good on her.
and her hair is fuckin perfect.
then i realized my boobs will never
be that big and gave up. :(

my family doesnt love me so
i am at TSU with my brother
while they are all on a lil
family trip to some fuckin where.
fuck a vacation.
im mad cuz now i cant call chris.
:(
and my ex is a fuckin loser.
i can only take so much.
(lol that ws also an inside joke)
i havent seen alexa in forever and a half.
:(
thats my 3rd sad face.
not good.

the upside,
i dont have to be bothered with
4 lil kids all day,
shooting pool was fun,
went to Denny's.
thats it.
and oh yeah,
im about to deleter my lil sisters myspace.
why? cuz a couple weeks ago
she went on mine and messaged chris saying
"its ovr" same spelling.
but chris isnt a dumbass so it didnt phase him.
dumbass girl.
paybacks a bitch.

Together Forever

I never thought I'll be in love
with my best friend and
especially not this much.
He's everything i want in a boy
and he understands me better than anyone
(except Alexa).
he cares about me so much
and shows it everyday.
chris makes me smile without even
trying. He makes me happy all the time.
I wish I could see him more.
:(
I hate being away from him.
i love him more everyday.
When i lay down i wish he was lying next
to me.
Everytime we say goodbye I wish we had
one more kiss
I love him so much that it hurts sometimes.
I've never trusted anyone else as much as
I have him.
He's the only boy I let hear me cry
because he's the only one
who can make me feel better.
I feel safe and loved when I'm with him.
I know he wont let anything hurt me
or hurt me himself.
He doesn't complain when I call him a
dumbass nigga and he doesn't
whine when I call him a
stupid bitch cuz he knows I still
love him no matter what.
I love how he mispronounces my middle name.
I love how he holds me close to him.
I love how he pulls the cover over me
when we're in bed.
I love how he kisses and touches me
and tells me how he loves me over and
over again.
I can never get enough of him and
never will.
i love how he looks at me like I'm
special and important to him.
I love it when he calls me baby.
I love how he bends over to kiss me
cuz I'm short so I don't have to stand
on my tiptoes
I love how i think about him whenever
i hear a love song.
i love how he knows me so well and I
don't need to say "I'm sad" or "I'm mad"
cuz he already can tell.
I love how i dont have to be
this tough hardcore bitch around him
all the time cuz he accepts me for who i am,
and besides, that shit doenst phase him anyway.
i dont care about the hoes he fucks
with cuz at the end of the day
he's caking with me and not them.
He means so much to me.
And I know I mean alot to him.
I can open up to him if I please
and talk to him about my problems
if i WANT.
And if I dont want to he forces
me to cuz he cares that much
and doesnt like seeing me sad.
He's not only my boyfriend
he's my bestfriend
and everything I ever wanted.


I love you Christopher Agboola.

5:48

steven braziel in this hoe
...gone.

baby, let's play hardball.

its gotten to the point where
i dont know what to do.
im damned if i do, damned if i dont.
so ill just ride it out.
i dont want to do something ill regret,
and i dont want to fuck myself over.
so ill just like act its
like all the others.

what's a lighter word for done?

ahhhhhhhh!!
that was a scream, or yell, or shout.
whatever the fuck u wanna call it.
im so fucking just over shit now.
i just cant let shit else phase me now
or get to my head.
dan, i fell off my rocker.
fuck sam.
dumbass girl. u know better.
but u were smart though.
you knew just what to do, and just when to do it.
i give you that.
and that only.

at torrences...

so i went to torre3nces with alexa to resolve some shit
and got into it with this nigga named marquez or some shit

mar: chris your boyfriend?
sam: yea.
mar: that nigga talk alot of shit.
sam: i mean u cold say this to him
mar: ay, that nigga could get it
sam: (giggles) from you?
(he must be kidding)
mar: yeah.
sam: hahaha i mean, that was cute.
mar: tell that nigga come over here
sam: hahaha stop dying for my man. im about to blog about this
mar: y u typing in my name?
sam: i said i was about to blog, didnt i?
mar: how u no my name?
sam: u fuckin added me on myspace
mar: then delete me
sam: i never accepted you.

so me and this punk bitch are talkin
shit and then he turns the computer off on me and shit.
weeeeeeeaaaaaaaakkk.
then later apologizes so im cool.

Chris Alexa and Nosey Hoes

chris hoed me
i hoed alexa
sorry bestie
but my turnip-like father has awaken.
and the next bitch that IMs me on myspace
just because i go with chris
is gonna be severely damaged.
(except peace, cuz your friendly)
dont question my relationship.
i dont like ppl.
question him. he's nicer than me.

steven

so i get beat up in my own damn home.
fuckin bitches.
steven learned three lil boxing moves
and now thinks he can beat my ass.
so he's been stickin me ALLLL day.
and i just let it slide.
but im not forgetting.
so when i get out the shower
and put on my boxers and tee
i grab a belt and sneak up on that
black ass nigga and hit him
about 4 good times...
then he catches the belt.
and i know im in trouble now.
i dont let go though
cuz then he'll just hit the fuck outta me.
so it gets hard and harder to hold on.
and we're wrestling for a good while.
then he gets the belt.
and throws it to pharson.
but theres one under my bed
so i grab it.
hes ntop of me this ENTIRE time.
and he grabs that belt too.
and hits me with it
on my thigh
and it hurts like fuckin hell.
but im a fuckin gangsta.
and i wont give him the satisfaction
of knowing im hurt so i just
act like i aint feel it.
and then hes all like "so you're tough?"
and im like "yeah BITCH!"
so he hits me again,
and i scream like a sorry wimp.
at hte end of all this im defeated
:(
i dont like losing.
i will get him back.
i swear.

X girl

when i went to the bus station
i had the most homo moment of my life.
i will never feel that way about
a female again.
that sounds really gay.
but you didnt see her.
she wasnt perfect, not even close.
but she had this...this thing? about her.
i dont know how to explain it.
she was like 5' 5"
with jet black hair.
it was curly and barely touched
her shoulder.
she had one earring in her right ear.
it was the shape of a boombox.
the cutest lil earring ever.
the was darker than me.
with creamy skin, no blemishes, or acne.
in a way u could tell she knew she was
the shit, but she didnt have no cocky attitude and shit.
her legs were slim and arms too.
her breasts were a lil bigger than average
but fit her fine. cute lil butt.
her lips looked perfect. not too glossy like
a whore or chapped either.
her t-shirt was white with a frog on the back.
her jeans had a rip at the thigh, knee.
it looked like she ripped them herself.
she had a gazillion bracelets on her left wrist.
all of them looked homemade with thread or yarn.
and a tattoo on her neck of a rose.
and ....she was wearing the same necklace as me.
i got mine from my lil sister.
i felt kinda good knowin she had the same one.
she was reading a book and listening to some music.
she ws so uniqe. and it looked so effortless.
i was so jealous.
what? i dont know.
she dropped her book and i reached over to pick
it up for her at the same time she did.
her finger grazed my hand and i swear to god
i got goosebumps. she smiled and said thank.
i got in line.

"everytime i lust, it reminds me of us"

*screams in excitement and delight*
i ws suppose to go to job corps today.
:(
and i didnt even get to see
chris of alexa before the day i was
scheduled to leave.
so i sneak out in the middle of my
packing and go to her house.
do i notify her first?
no, cuz we're bff's and she felt me coming.
i knock on her window and she knows what to do.
its like 3 and stay until like alomst 5.
we were just talkin and shit.
and she was on the phone with this one nigga.
who had this "cute" friend.
and alexa gives me the phone while the
"cute" friend is on it. lol

sam-"hello?"
boy-"hey, whats your name?"
sam-"lucifer"
boy-"oh, that's different."
(this nigga is obviously an idiot)
sam-"yeah, i know"
boy-"so can i have your number?"
sam-"yeah, tell me when you're ready"
boy-"alright, what is it?"
sam-"666"
......silence
boy-"whats the rest?"
sam-"are you dumb?"
boy-"haha. naw, im just shy."
sam-"oh okay, well you're shy and im taken so this isnt gonna work"
(hands alexa the phone)

niggas are so fuckin dumb.
ehhhhh.
anyways....i called him at like
6:18 i think.
and he was pissed at me. like i expected.
no surprise.
then we curse at each other.
no surprise.
then i cry like a bitch.
ahhhh.
say how much i dont wanna go.
and say bye.
fml at this moment.

then i get down to the bus station.
and my name isnt on the list.
cuz i told them i had a court date.
my dad was pissed. lol
he really wanted me gone.
oh, well.
im still here. haha.

i go home and IM him
and go to sleep.
wake up,call him, then alexa.
then both.
i fuckin love them bitches.
damn im glad im still here.

for chris

this is my boyfriend.
he's swole, funny, doesnt chew gum,
cant sit still, and a terrible person.
he means sooooo much 2 me. i've been liking
him for 2 yrs and we're just now goin out.
which is kinda weak cuz we startd goin
out on fuckin Independence Day and shit.
but it was worth the wait.
i care more about him than any other
nigga i've ever talked to. he's always
there for me and we can talk about anything
cuz we have so much in common.
he's my best friend too and has been
for a long time.
he was there for me when other niggas werent.
chris brings out the best in me
....and the worst too actually.
i love and miss him so much that
sometimes it just makes me sad.
he gets one my nerves EVERY FUCKING DAY
but hes still my baby.
and he puts up with my bullshit.
ill never leave him cuz he's too important to me.

ily chris.♥

my ex's lmao

this might seem really immature,
but all these guys have done me
wrong one way or another. and just
admitting that i use to talk to
them at all is more embarassment for
me than this is for them trust me.
there are more but why talk shit about
everybody?

titus castle....lol
oversized clothes?? braids?? lmao.
i be fuckin up.


wayne deSalme.
pretty cool white boy. if you
dont mind acne and that wet dog smell.


david ekibolaji
he's african and funny.
thats 2 things that arent so bad,
but come on, look at the picture. ewww


R.I.M.
his name is abbreviated cuz
its to fucking long. he's a woman beater.
and the only one on the list i kissed.
but he's pretty fucking wack.
i cant stress that enough.


Aaryn Hill
this is actually one of his better pics.
hes just not cute. which is okay.
its the zits, non-swoleness, and bad breath
thats the problem.


i actually had more fun going out with david
than any of the other ones. he was the funniest.
doing this made me feel better.

survey

im like really bored
so i thought i'd make
a survey of myself.
well, here goes

name : Sam
birthday : 3/12/93
fav food : peanut butter
fav candy : tootsie rolls
(i can eat a thousand tootsie rolls
and that's the best thing to give me.)
fav color : black
i love the dark
i never turn my lights on
hobby : talkin shit w/ alexa lol
i like attention
but not in a bad way, i guess.
fav sport : football
fav drink : tea
biggest pet peeve : liars.
lieing isnt bad, just dont get caught
cuz thatll piss me off.
if you have the balls to lie to me
be smart enough to cover up ur tracks.
talents : lieing, cheating, bitching.
not hte best things in the world but
i dont give a fuck.

im in the middle of IMing chirs
so ill pick this up later
maybe..

Katy Perry

i know everything about her.
no one is a bigger fan.
no FUCKIN one!
(excuse my french)

Jacob (becuz i kow u'll read this)

i didnt break up with you
becuz i was just mad.
i didtn wanna be with u anymore.
we are still good friends.
i havent forgotten about u.
im sorry if your hurt,
but i think its best if
i just stopped it soon.
u were good boyfriend and
some girl out there will be VERY
happy to get you. but not me.
i had a nice time at the movies
with you. i like being around you,
but as far as a relationship goes
i dotn think thatll be smart.
i still love you lol

all i ever wanted

was to be all u ever wanted
was to be yours
was to be the girl u loved
even when u were mad at me.
i wanted to be the girl u looked
at like u wouldnt wanna be anywhere
else but with me.
cuz u cared about me just that much.
i wanted to feel the same
way i felt about u.
thats all i ever asked for.
but it was too much.
maybe it was too soon.
maybe it was too much.
maybe ur just a bitch.
yeah, its the last one.

Sambamm.....god damn

good news.
2 things, actually.

#1.katy perry's cat, Kitty Purry,
was nominated for fav celeb pet.

#2.my sister is here. and i fuckin
missed her sooo much. she's taller
than me and she's only 11.

but there's more.
#3. i finally told chris how i felt.
god damn. it wasnt easy. actually,
it was EXTREMELY difficult. becuz,
well, its chris. and he's an asshole.
so i didnt know how he would react.
but he made it easy.

im proud of myself

Drake

if you know me
you know that i hate
a light-skinned boy.
and if you know me
you also know that i love
my bestie alexa.
so i will muster
up the courage to say this
once and once only for
you alexa
"Drake is sexy"!!
ewwww

i cant beleive i just
did that shit.
happy now?

ANGRY CATS♥

Chris; Alexa

I love these two ppl.
I have hair in the first photo.
Not the second.
I haven't seen Alexa in a few days.
I haven't seen Chris since the last day of school.
I miss them. *tear*

Alexaa Babyy

I love my Alexa Joi Mayes and she's an amazing person.
That sounded extremely homo. But I don't care.
I hope she starts feeling better soon.
She's sooooo going through some shit.
And she likes to extend her words like:
"I'm Alexaa and I'm sixteen years oldd. blah blah blah"
That what I hear most of the time she's talking.
The "blah blah blah" part that is.
But I listen to the important things.
Like the stuff about me and Katy Perry.
I'm sorry I couldn't blog about you without
being an asshole a little.
I love you.

Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson

i love Katy Perry.

she's hot.

she's my idol.

dont fuck w/ her.

cuz that'll be mean, and then i'll fuck you up.