it sucks but here

you take your seat and cologne feels the air
but im left with a view of only neck and hair
i want so bad to lean over in your ear
and tell you how i want you close and near
how i want you for my own
but im to scared so im writing this poem
with hopes that by some fucked up fate
you'll notice me and think im great
but i know firsthand fairytales dont come true
i know im just dreaming and will never be with you
i know you want the prettier girl
who struts about without a care in the world
who has a smile that outshines mine anyday
whose presence makes me fade away
into the background so you never see
that your heart will be safer with me
i cant tell you this cuz im scared ill fall flat
fall in love so deep they'll be no turning back
and i dont really know who to care for a man
i dont know how to sacrifice or take a stand
i dont know how to love and that's the problem
im handicap in the art of compassion and im so lost
because ill rather bullshit people and cause chaos
so ill leave you alone and not say how i feel
because, although i care, i can't give you something real
with zipped lips and a tied tongue ill remain mute
and play my part as the girl who only sat behind you

Let me be the first to wish you the worst ;)

Do I look like my dad? lmfao

STFU bitch

*Exhales*
To every girl that complains or some shit
cries over spilled milk,
and bitches all the damn time:
STFU BITCH!
Excuse my colorful language. But it had to be said.
You bitches cry, cry and cry and wonder why
no one wants to be bothered with your whiny ass.
Especially to your boyfriends, he doesn't want to hear
that shit. I swear he doesn't. He may listen the first
couple of times to be nice but no nigga wants some
naggin ass girlfriend. And then when you realize that
he's no longer listening, don't yell at him.
The louder you yell, the less he'll listen.
So the next time you think about running yo mouth
about something that really isn't even fucking important,
bitch, shut the fuck up.Go color or something instead.
:)

How my 2010 starts

• Skip a whole day of class
• Went to juvie
• Got heartbroken
• Graduated
• Got over heartbreak
• Started work
• Spend everyday bored as shit until it's time to go to work.
  

Maya Angelou

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

This is some gangsta shit to tell someone
Translation:
"I'm sexy, your mad, and I have
a jeweled pussy."
Fucking brilliance.

25 things I wanna do before I die

1. write a book if not several
2. become famous, far-fetched but possible
   
3. meet katy perry
4. hurt someone so bad they have to be hospitalized
5. help someone that's hospitalized
6. fight cancer, if it's not the very thing that does kill me
7. have sex on a beach
8. have sex to "Go" by Common
9. say a quote that will go down in history
   
10. meet the guy of my dreams. love him. care for him.
    
11. make sure he loves me. cares for me
12. write a shitload of poems like emily dickinson
13. go to the Super Bowl
14. find the idiot(s) asking me these formspring q's
15. kill them
16. go back to my mom's grave in chicago
17. get drunk
18. kill Ramaddan Ishmael Morroc-Bey
19. learn to swim
20. get another tat, a couple more
21. have my fantasy come true ;)
22. reinvent the words "crazy" and "insubordinate"
    
23. set a building on fire, watch it crumble and burn
24. let my guard down, let someone in.
    
25. have someone to share all these moments with
    

No No

This is who I like to call dummy.
I don't know the girl personally.
She's just some random girl on
facebook that just so happened
to be one my friends list.
Why do I call her dummy? Well,
let's take a look at this picture:

a)it's in a dressing room. that's a no no
b)you can see the tag. that's a no no
c)you can see the security tag. that's a no no
d)pose: stop that. that's a no no
e)YOU CAN SEE THE FUCKING TAG!. that's a no no

Had to repeat the tag one. I'm in awe. And then
had the audacity to put it on the web. smh
If you want to ridicule her personally here is her facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000214514458#/profile.php?id=100000097673695

"I love that afro hair do"

I have a unique respect for people with natural hair (like myself).
Especially if you are use to getting perms. It takes alot of guts to
just stop or to whack all your hair off. It's not easy. But on the bright
side it's fucking beautiful. Nothing looks better than big hair. I love it.
Keep your perms, relaxers, lye konks and what not.
I'm never getting a perm again. Why should I? I dont fucking need one.
I love my fucking hair just the way it is.

Cross my heart, Hope to die, Stick a needle in my eye

if i should die before i wake
i pray the lord that he shall make
a ghost of me so i can haunt you
until your days of living are through
id fuck up your life and make you hear noises
wake you in your sleep and have you imagine voices
id drive to the very edge of insanity
id make you go crazy just like you did me
crazy to the point of no return
make your insides bleed, your intestines burn
use fire to make you incinerate
throw you in the ocean for shark bait
carve my intials into your back with a razor
so you will remember my name for forever
gauge out your eyes and put it in my salad
scream and yell saying that i've had it
had enough of your shit and fucked up ways
enough of you treating me like shit when i give you praise
and through all this you won't die
because i want to see you cry
i want to see you suffer and weep
i want to see you lose nights of sleep
feel the agonizing pain
of which i am to blame
feel the way i felt, walk in my shoes
experience the scar and bruise
you left on my heart continuously
while i stand before you and laugh shamelessly
if you should die before you wake
pray the lord that he shall take
your body far away from me
cause if not ill damage it. thats a gurantee.

"What's the point? It's just a waste of time. I'm spoiled."

Steven Braziel

 <3

A funny ass nigga.
And always there for me,
even though you're so stupid
that you think you can beat
me up. But that's okay
because lots of people
make that assumption
until I drop kick them.
I still love you though and
your undeniable
love for sunflower seeds,
Ralph Lauren, and
bitches && hoes.

Anti-Cockblocker

Cockblocking.
One of the most despised past times I know of.
Why? NO ONE likes a cockblocker.
Cockblockers don't even get along with cockblockers.
That's how you know it's sad.
Why do people cockblock? Well, I tried to think of
some reasons:

1) Jealousy. Which is dumb because cockblocking
isnt gonna make the other person want you any more
than they already did, it might even make them want
you less or not at all.
2)Humor. Some people think it's funny to cockblock.
Well, it's not. So don't fucking do it. Why? Because one
day your gonna do it to the wrong person and get
your ass kicked. Thats why.

It's not you, it's me.....Naw fuck it. It's you.

If I guy ever tells you
"It's not you, it's me"
then he's lying.
And if you believe him then congrats,
because you deserve the "Dumbest Bitch Alive" award.
Stop being a naive little bitch.
Ugh. This post is for a specific person, not gonna say who,
because I've hoed enough people today.
.

pow!, bitch

I haven't gotten into a physical altercation in a minute.
I really want to, especially since I've been in a real fucked up mood.
I want some brass knuckles bad though. real bad.
Just imagine the extent of damage I could bestow upon
someone's face with these bad boys. Man! I could really
hurt a bitch. I could easily drop a bitch without them
but I like to leave alot of marks. I pity the next bitch
that even looks at me wrong.

11:12......damn

I'm not a firm believer in the supernatural or spirits and all
of that bullshit. If I've struck any nerves, oh well. Suck it up.
Anyways, I still try to make a wish at 11:11.
It's more like out of habit and hope, not the actually
idea of it coming true. But just in case it might, I always wish
for something that I really want. None of my wishes have come
true. So I guess to say that, wishing is bullshit, dreams are bullshit,
hope is bullshit. All that matters is me. All that matters is what I can
see, feel, and touch. What's going on right now. Fuck the rest.
I smashed my alarm clock into pieces so I'm not tempted to
make anymore wishes full of false hope.

Fuck the General Public

So i published a post called
"why you don't eat hooker pussy"
and there was obviously alot of
controversy about the explicit content.
I admit that it was kind of disgusting
but, hey, I'm a disgusting young lady.
But I took it off because after a while it
starts to make me itch. ugh.

Ordinary People

Some songs just don't get old.

silence never seemed so loud.

Because I hate the silence. It just doesnt fit well on me.
I like sound, not raging cluttering noise, but sound.
Something smooth, something nice.
However, my definition of smooth and nice
may be a tad bit different from yours.

Looking back, none of this was worth with.

i'm a liar, i'm sick, and mentally disturbed.
take all thoses things and multiple them by 5 and thats you.
i hate you for liying all those mights when we would talk and
you said that you loved me
i hate you for leaving me to go fuck a bunch of white girls
i hate you for telling me that she looked better than me
i hate you for treating me like shit.
i hate you for saying that im sick enough to create a fake boyfriend
i hate you for wasting half a year of my life
i hate you for not sayin how you felt when you felt that way
i hate you for cutting me off and dropping me like a bad habit
i hate you for fucking me
i hate you fucking me good
i hate you for the times you fucked me bad
i hate you for calling me a "nut bucket", "ugly", "fat", and worse things
i hate you for not being there
i hate you for playing with my mind, heart and emotions
i hate you for falling out of love with me and never telling me
i hate you for not answering your calling or replying to my texts
i hate you for making me type this
i hate you for saying that you'll love me forever
i hate you for making me love you.
and i'll hate for that forever

the root of my problems

i have a problem.
i am extremely impatient.
i dont like to wait and refuse to.
it's not me. i can never just relax.
something always has to be
going on. something hes to always be
grabbing my attention and making
it worth while. i dont like waiting,
its boring. i like movement, excitement,
and drama too. shit, why lie.

Christopher

Thank you for the blog post about me going to juvie.
I appreciated it.You're still my friend.

therealchrisagboola.blogspot.com
therealchrisagboola.blogspot.com
therealchrisagboola.blogspot.com
therealchrisagboola.blogspot.com
therealchrisagboola.blogspot.com

alright now

I haven't blogged in a long time.
Partly because I've been happy
and had nothing stupid or sad to
blog about. Well, now that's all
over. I don't know what to say
exactly why and I won't get specific
. Somethings are just better left unsaid
or untyped in this matter. My school
life is shitty. My home life is
worse. I barely sleep and I think I've
lost my mojo.That was not a joke.
I really think I did. I use to be outgoing and
an asshole but for some strange reason I'm
not so much anymore. I mean, I know the
reason, but like I said, somethings aer better
left untyped. I'm about to retract like BIG TIME.
Back to that IDGAF attitude again. It served me well.
Another lesson has been learned
in my life. A lesson I had already learned but
evidently forgot. I trusted someone. Dumb choice.
Lmao. You know who you are ;)  .To all the forcers
who are reading this and think they know who I
am talking about, well shit, you're more than likely right.
But once again, somethings are better left untyped.
That's all I care to say right now.