die or die

and because of you now i'm scared even more
cuz there is a river where there was once my bedroom floor
a long wide river of my tears
created by my cries, silent to your ears
im fully aware that i cant swim
yet, my heart tells me to jump right in
i know for sure i'll drown and die
but i'll drown before i live everyday just getting by
with a heart thats torn in two
broken by none other than you
but if i dont, i'll live forever in pain
every awaking moment will be the same
thoughts of you while i lay and weep
nightmares of you in my sleep
but if i jump in my river, crafted by tears
the vicious cycle will end here
no more sadness or memories
of how it was, when you were with me
so i either live in mourning, wanting you back
or drown to end the happiness i lack
really i just want to be with you
but jump or not, i still lose.