i've never felt so much hatred for one person.
u truly disgust me. i told myself that i wasnt gonna
blog about you or waste pages in my diary on you,
but i have alot bottled in and i deserve to let it out.
im not bitchin every minute about what u did to me,
but i will address it, cuz it was terrible.
how could you slap a girl across the face,
spit on her like she's a disgrace,
slam her on a hardwood floor
and take what u say is "rightfully yours"?
how could you hear her scream for you to stop
and ignore her as you rip off her top?
i pleaded and begged while you made me bleed
hoping you'll stop, but you still proceed
the main ingredient in my nightmares
is someone who i thought once cared
and without a trace of guilt in your eyes
as you stared at me and heard my cries
i hate you and hope you burn in hell
just like that, and i wont shout or yell
cuz ur simply not worth the thought
we've argued, parted, and even fought
but instead of just leaving me alone
you take the liberty of coming to my home.
i hope you spend the next two years
thinking of how you caused me all those tears.
and......
fuck u!
8/29/2009
hoed myself
i went to alexa's and made 2 video
well, made 3.
but one was really pointless. actually all
3 were really pointless.
but they make me laugh, becuz when i watch them
i just listen to how annoying i sound and giggle.
oh yeah, my weak ass sister is in them too.
and the other one
well, made 3.
but one was really pointless. actually all
3 were really pointless.
but they make me laugh, becuz when i watch them
i just listen to how annoying i sound and giggle.
oh yeah, my weak ass sister is in them too.
and the other one
8/26/2009
i think im ready
my new favorite song
by katy perry!!
titled: i think im ready.
she has a way of putting
exactly how i feel in a song
at the exact time in my life
when i feel that way.
"Told myself I don't deserve you
And this is just a phase
Could I get used to, being loved the right way?
I wanna argue, but there is nothing to say"
"Cuz you wanna see me, when there's no occasion
Yeah we talk for hours, you still wanna listen
Won't hold it against me if I just need you to hold me tonight"
i love her. i have too.
its like she takes my diary entries
and magically turns them into songs.
fuckin genius man.
by katy perry!!
titled: i think im ready.
she has a way of putting
exactly how i feel in a song
at the exact time in my life
when i feel that way.
"Told myself I don't deserve you
And this is just a phase
Could I get used to, being loved the right way?
I wanna argue, but there is nothing to say"
"Cuz you wanna see me, when there's no occasion
Yeah we talk for hours, you still wanna listen
Won't hold it against me if I just need you to hold me tonight"
i love her. i have too.
its like she takes my diary entries
and magically turns them into songs.
fuckin genius man.
8/23/2009
8/20/2009
secret #4
if you tell me you love me
and i say "huh?"
its not cuz i didnt hear you the first time,
i just wanna hear you say it again.
and i say "huh?"
its not cuz i didnt hear you the first time,
i just wanna hear you say it again.
in my diary
i have a list
in the back.
a list of secrets.
nothing big, or special.
but secrets nonetheless.
things i would prefer not to tell you
but i was reading this book that
you wouldnt understand cuz your prolly
not smart enough and it said it was good
to tell SOME of your secrets so....
here goes.
in the back.
a list of secrets.
nothing big, or special.
but secrets nonetheless.
things i would prefer not to tell you
but i was reading this book that
you wouldnt understand cuz your prolly
not smart enough and it said it was good
to tell SOME of your secrets so....
here goes.
8/19/2009
8/18/2009
die or die
and because of you now i'm scared even more
cuz there is a river where there was once my bedroom floor
a long wide river of my tears
created by my cries, silent to your ears
im fully aware that i cant swim
yet, my heart tells me to jump right in
i know for sure i'll drown and die
but i'll drown before i live everyday just getting by
with a heart thats torn in two
broken by none other than you
but if i dont, i'll live forever in pain
every awaking moment will be the same
thoughts of you while i lay and weep
nightmares of you in my sleep
but if i jump in my river, crafted by tears
the vicious cycle will end here
no more sadness or memories
of how it was, when you were with me
so i either live in mourning, wanting you back
or drown to end the happiness i lack
really i just want to be with you
but jump or not, i still lose.
cuz there is a river where there was once my bedroom floor
a long wide river of my tears
created by my cries, silent to your ears
im fully aware that i cant swim
yet, my heart tells me to jump right in
i know for sure i'll drown and die
but i'll drown before i live everyday just getting by
with a heart thats torn in two
broken by none other than you
but if i dont, i'll live forever in pain
every awaking moment will be the same
thoughts of you while i lay and weep
nightmares of you in my sleep
but if i jump in my river, crafted by tears
the vicious cycle will end here
no more sadness or memories
of how it was, when you were with me
so i either live in mourning, wanting you back
or drown to end the happiness i lack
really i just want to be with you
but jump or not, i still lose.
8/13/2009
Timeline
I tried to write a song
but it wasnt as good as yours :(
so I mad a timeline :)
June 4th
we kissed in Donalds car
June 22nd
I told you I was in love with you
July 4th 3:22 am.
you asked me out three times lol
August 4th
one month
August 6th
i put all my trust in you
August 11th
baskseat of stephanies car???
July 4th- Now
lots of smiles, tears, dissapointments, excitements,
laughs, break-ups, and make-ups
Everyday
I love you more.
but it wasnt as good as yours :(
so I mad a timeline :)
June 4th
we kissed in Donalds car
June 22nd
I told you I was in love with you
July 4th 3:22 am.
you asked me out three times lol
August 4th
one month
August 6th
i put all my trust in you
August 11th
baskseat of stephanies car???
July 4th- Now
lots of smiles, tears, dissapointments, excitements,
laughs, break-ups, and make-ups
Everyday
I love you more.
humphh
the picture?
yeah well, when i was
younger i wanted to be just like her.
she's sexy, strong, and green looks good on her.
and her hair is fuckin perfect.
then i realized my boobs will never
be that big and gave up. :(
my family doesnt love me so
i am at TSU with my brother
while they are all on a lil
family trip to some fuckin where.
fuck a vacation.
im mad cuz now i cant call chris.
:(
and my ex is a fuckin loser.
i can only take so much.
(lol that ws also an inside joke)
i havent seen alexa in forever and a half.
:(
thats my 3rd sad face.
not good.
the upside,
i dont have to be bothered with
4 lil kids all day,
shooting pool was fun,
went to Denny's.
thats it.
and oh yeah,
im about to deleter my lil sisters myspace.
why? cuz a couple weeks ago
she went on mine and messaged chris saying
"its ovr" same spelling.
but chris isnt a dumbass so it didnt phase him.
dumbass girl.
paybacks a bitch.
yeah well, when i was
younger i wanted to be just like her.
she's sexy, strong, and green looks good on her.
and her hair is fuckin perfect.
then i realized my boobs will never
be that big and gave up. :(
my family doesnt love me so
i am at TSU with my brother
while they are all on a lil
family trip to some fuckin where.
fuck a vacation.
im mad cuz now i cant call chris.
:(
and my ex is a fuckin loser.
i can only take so much.
(lol that ws also an inside joke)
i havent seen alexa in forever and a half.
:(
thats my 3rd sad face.
not good.
the upside,
i dont have to be bothered with
4 lil kids all day,
shooting pool was fun,
went to Denny's.
thats it.
and oh yeah,
im about to deleter my lil sisters myspace.
why? cuz a couple weeks ago
she went on mine and messaged chris saying
"its ovr" same spelling.
but chris isnt a dumbass so it didnt phase him.
dumbass girl.
paybacks a bitch.
8/10/2009
Together Forever
I never thought I'll be in love
with my best friend and
especially not this much.
He's everything i want in a boy
and he understands me better than anyone
(except Alexa).
he cares about me so much
and shows it everyday.
chris makes me smile without even
trying. He makes me happy all the time.
I wish I could see him more.
:(
I hate being away from him.
i love him more everyday.
When i lay down i wish he was lying next
to me.
Everytime we say goodbye I wish we had
one more kiss
I love him so much that it hurts sometimes.
I've never trusted anyone else as much as
I have him.
He's the only boy I let hear me cry
because he's the only one
who can make me feel better.
I feel safe and loved when I'm with him.
I know he wont let anything hurt me
or hurt me himself.
He doesn't complain when I call him a
dumbass nigga and he doesn't
whine when I call him a
stupid bitch cuz he knows I still
love him no matter what.
I love how he mispronounces my middle name.
I love how he holds me close to him.
I love how he pulls the cover over me
when we're in bed.
I love how he kisses and touches me
and tells me how he loves me over and
over again.
I can never get enough of him and
never will.
i love how he looks at me like I'm
special and important to him.
I love it when he calls me baby.
I love how he bends over to kiss me
cuz I'm short so I don't have to stand
on my tiptoes
I love how i think about him whenever
i hear a love song.
i love how he knows me so well and I
don't need to say "I'm sad" or "I'm mad"
cuz he already can tell.
I love how i dont have to be
this tough hardcore bitch around him
all the time cuz he accepts me for who i am,
and besides, that shit doenst phase him anyway.
i dont care about the hoes he fucks
with cuz at the end of the day
he's caking with me and not them.
He means so much to me.
And I know I mean alot to him.
I can open up to him if I please
and talk to him about my problems
if i WANT.
And if I dont want to he forces
me to cuz he cares that much
and doesnt like seeing me sad.
He's not only my boyfriend
he's my bestfriend
and everything I ever wanted.
I love you Christopher Agboola.
with my best friend and
especially not this much.
He's everything i want in a boy
and he understands me better than anyone
(except Alexa).
he cares about me so much
and shows it everyday.
chris makes me smile without even
trying. He makes me happy all the time.
I wish I could see him more.
:(
I hate being away from him.
i love him more everyday.
When i lay down i wish he was lying next
to me.
Everytime we say goodbye I wish we had
one more kiss
I love him so much that it hurts sometimes.
I've never trusted anyone else as much as
I have him.
He's the only boy I let hear me cry
because he's the only one
who can make me feel better.
I feel safe and loved when I'm with him.
I know he wont let anything hurt me
or hurt me himself.
He doesn't complain when I call him a
dumbass nigga and he doesn't
whine when I call him a
stupid bitch cuz he knows I still
love him no matter what.
I love how he mispronounces my middle name.
I love how he holds me close to him.
I love how he pulls the cover over me
when we're in bed.
I love how he kisses and touches me
and tells me how he loves me over and
over again.
I can never get enough of him and
never will.
i love how he looks at me like I'm
special and important to him.
I love it when he calls me baby.
I love how he bends over to kiss me
cuz I'm short so I don't have to stand
on my tiptoes
I love how i think about him whenever
i hear a love song.
i love how he knows me so well and I
don't need to say "I'm sad" or "I'm mad"
cuz he already can tell.
I love how i dont have to be
this tough hardcore bitch around him
all the time cuz he accepts me for who i am,
and besides, that shit doenst phase him anyway.
i dont care about the hoes he fucks
with cuz at the end of the day
he's caking with me and not them.
He means so much to me.
And I know I mean alot to him.
I can open up to him if I please
and talk to him about my problems
if i WANT.
And if I dont want to he forces
me to cuz he cares that much
and doesnt like seeing me sad.
He's not only my boyfriend
he's my bestfriend
and everything I ever wanted.
I love you Christopher Agboola.